Sunday, January 9, 2011

A Day in Motherhood: Mommy Plays Games


I'm really excited to start my Guest Post week off with Lori from A Day in Motherhood. I found her blog through a tweet from Tori Spelling. Lori got her to retweet the most amazing post about motherhood called Remembering Me. Please click through and read it. If you are a mom, it will no doubt resonate with you. Lori inspires me because her blog is all writing! Every day she post amazing pieces about her life. I hope to learn from her and do more writing of my own in this new year.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Motherhood has made me a master game player.  No one can beat me.  Except another Mother.  My husband can't touch me, my extended family falls way short, and strangers can only stand in blanket admiration.  I can take out an opponent with a single move and leave them scratching their heads and wondering how one person can be so incredibly talented at every game out there.

After three daughters, 50,000 diaper changes, and countless Pull Up removals, I have mastered Twister.  I think Hasbro is actually looking at a new twist so that I will be stumped.  I can put my right hand on a diaper, hold wiggling legs with my left, use my right foot to grab the diaper cream, and my left to reach the wipes.  I can do it without dropping a baby, knocking over a toddler, and while calming a little girl.  I am that good.

I am the creme de la crop of 20 Questions.  I am actually thinking of taking my talent on the road to teach others not so versed in my talents.  Except I'll rename the game 200 Questions and travel with four other people whose sole job is to throw questions at me non stop, no matter what my answer.  And this must go on for hours at a time with no stopping.  I prefer the same question over and over again.  It just makes it more fun.

Operation creators need to call me from tips.  I can remove a splinter from the toe, popcorn kernel from the nose, and small toy from a biting mouth with ease.  I can do it without touching the sides, setting off alarms, or a Doctor's assistance.  Really, it is a sight to see.  And while doing it, I can use my master skills at Charades to get my husband to get a band aid, a warm cloth, or an ice pack, without a word.

My husband and I play Tug Of War daily.  He used to win, but not anymore.  Not since I started staying home.  I have an uncanny strength now that comes with spending the day with little, whiney, demanding, dramatic, little girls.  Now, when we have an issue, or debate who is right and who is wrong,  I pull all of my strength from the underbelly of my exhaustion and frustration and knock him on his keyster with one fail swoop.

And since I pay the bills, cook the meals, clean the house, walk the dogs, feed the plants, water the yard, mop the floors, rearrange the rooms, do the laundry, scrub the toilets, console the kids, pet the husband, check the mail, pour the wine, send out the letters, buy the gifts, take out the trash, and put everyone to bed at night, I would say I have a Monopoly on this game called Life.

Yes. Mommy plays games.

13 comments:

Erinsgobragh said...

LORI!!! YAY! I didn't know you were so skilled?! Woman why didn't you tell me?!

Lori said...

HAHA!! I am, I admit it! LOL!

HI Erin!

And thank you Ashley! I sincerely appreciate it! ;)

By Word of Mouth said...

What a fab post - isn't it the truth, skills we didn't realise we needed when spending years in college and stressing over promotions - and here we are CEO's, CFO's - rulers of Our World!

-Sam I Am- said...

I was cracking up throughout this whole post! Hahaha. When you are a momma, you are everything. You do everything and it's just second nature. However, it still takes people by surprise. Best of luck my dear, I know you are one great little momma :)

Lynn MacDonald said...

Damn girl...I didn't realize that all those years of juggling kids were actually training for Being a professional game player. Can't say I miss those days.

And BTW...the tug o war doesn't end!

Greta: From Transparencies of Motherhood said...

Love this post. I have missed reading your blog! I took a 5 week blogging break and realized how much I missed certain people's blogs. Nice guest post feature.

KD said...

...and yet we still don't make the big bucks...go figure!

Heather M said...

I LOVE this! I need to let my husband know whos boss!

Pam Bowers said...

This is a really cute post!

Crystal said...

That's awesome....because it's so true. I can play Candyland with my eyes closed...and even make sure the kiddo wins. We play Sorry until my eyes bleed. And a game my Grandpa created (Pollyanna) we play until I want to scream! But I do w/ a smile...and rarely let myself win. And all of this is played while I cook, clean, launder, and maintain 4 kids, hubby, and home!!

VedetteTX said...

How true! I like that you included "pet the husband" lol

Amber@Nater Tot said...

Haha, this is great. Can't wait to check out your blog, Lori! Um, Ashley - you follow Tori Spelling? Is that a west coast thing? :) DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!

Lori said...

WOW!! Home from a day out and I come back to these wonderful comments! Thank you all so very much!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...